I’m a planner.

I can seriously plan things several months ahead of time and am very happy doing that, especially knowing there is something to look forward to. Don’t get me wrong, I can also be very spontaneous and love doing that, but for my day to day life, I like to have a schedule.  And that didn’t change when I was pregnant with my children.

When I was pregnant with my daughter (my first child), I knew exactly how I wanted her birth to be.  I wanted everything natural.  I didn’t want any drugs, I didn’t want a cesarean section (c-section), I just wanted everything to be natural. 

Well, around three weeks before my due date, I found out that wasn’t going to happen.  My daughter was breech and needed to be delivered via c-section.  A tidal wave of fear and anxiety completely took me over. This wasn’t what I wanted or what I planned for, and I was scared.

The day after I got my c-section news, I started working with a nurse to help me prepare for surgery.  It was seriously one of the best things I could have done.  Also, in the meantime, I was trying every old wives tale possible to try and flip my daughter to the head down position. 

I then received a phone call from the Doctor’s office asking which day I would like to have my baby. What?!  Now I have pick the day she would be born? That’s not how it’s supposed to be! After several hours of calming me down, my husband and I finally chose a date. To my surprise, they had already scheduled me.  Maybe it had to do with my little flip out?  The date they chose is also my husband’s birthday.  What an amazing birthday present, huh?  It was definitely meant to be.

With the guidance of my nurse and the support of family and friends, I made it through my c-section with flying colors and got an 8lb 1oz bundle of joy!

Fast forward 3 years. I was pregnant with my son and trying to figure out if I wanted to go with another c-section or if I wanted to give a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) a try.  After many discussions with my husband, I decided on a repeat c-section.  And this time around, I actually didn’t have a problem picking out the date.  Funny how things change.  We chose a date in early August and started our planning and preparing.

Well, at my 38-week appointment, I was measuring 4 weeks behind.  How does that happen?  Considering that I am not petite and that my daughter was 8lbs, they wanted to get a look at the baby. So I was sent to get an ultrasound that afternoon.  My ultrasound results were given to me right away and it was shocking to hear.  My son was only measuring around 5lbs.  He had stopped growing but we don’t know when.  My c-section was immediately changed to the next day because they were not comfortable having me carry him for another week. The doctor did want me to have one more test though. So after my ultrasound, I had to head to the hospital for a non-stress test.

The ride to the hospital was very emotional; thank God I had my husband with me.  We arrive to the hospital and they get me hooked up to the monitor. After a couple of hours, I got even more news. They didn’t like what they saw on the monitor.  The baby wasn’t moving around enough for them, so I was having an emergency c-section that night. A whole new feeling of fear and anxiety came over me. This isn’t supposed to happen!  Was my baby going to be okay? What was going on?  I was luckily able to calm myself down before being brought into the operating room.

My son was born that night, coming in at 5lbs 6oz. To my relief, he was perfectly healthy and fully developed; he was just small. The saying is definitely right, “Good things come in small packages”.

So, if you are pregnant and have a scheduled c-section or if you are planning to have a regular birth, you need to prepare yourself that your baby might have other plans in store. If you’re trying to plan getting pregnant so that your baby is born in a certain month, you can’t really count on that either. Everything will happen when it’s meant to happen.

My children have taught me that planners can’t always be planners. You sometimes just need to take things as they come.