Grief and the Holidays: Tips for Survival

It might be time to "deck the halls," but we may be feeling fa-la-la-la-lousy.  Here are some tips for coping with grief during the holidays:

1. The first year may (or may not) be the hardest.
The first holiday season without our loved may be really hard, but it's often the second or third year (and beyond) that provoke pain, dread, and anxiety around the holidays.

2. Holidays can be a trigger for grief.
The sights, sounds, and smells of the season can trigger a grief reaction for a recent or not-so-recent loss.  Trigger moments can be scary because they take us back to the acute grief when the pain was unbearable.  But if we've been grieving well the trigger will just be a temporary detour on our journey to healing.

3. No loss is too small to grieve
It's okay to miss Grandma's apple pie or Uncle Bob's inappropriate jokes.  It's important to name and count them as losses because we cannot grieve a loss we haven't acknowledged, and we cannot heal if we don't grieve.

4. It's okay to say "NO" . . . or "YES"
Know your limitations.  You can take a year off from holiday cards or scale down on the decorations.  It's okay to have mixed feelings about the holidays or to actually want to celebrate them.  Getting into the holiday spirit is not a sign of forgetting our deceased loved ones.

5. Find the "new normal"
Along with loss comes change and most people do not like change.  It is tough to grapple with the fact that things will never be the same again.  The task is to find a "new normal" and that can take years, but it is worth the effort because even though life won't ever be the same doesn't mean life won't ever be good.

For more survival tips, go to:
http://conta.cc/1eBO5yW

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