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Hollie Gonzalez October 30, 2012 at 03:16 PM
Here is my first question of the week: not happy 10:25 pm on Monday, October 29, 2012 Hi Hollie, I think my boss hit on me today! We were on a skeleton crew at work today because of the storm. He kept coming over to my area to check the progress I was making because I was doing two other peoples jobs. I though I caught him looking down my shirt one time, and then he "accidentally" brushed up against my rear with his hand! This is the second time it has happened this month. He is older than me by about 20 years and married. The woman who used to have my job quit last month, and there is only one other person to talk to in my company that is not related to him. What should I do? I can't afford to lose my job.
Hollie Gonzalez October 30, 2012 at 03:29 PM
Hi Not happy, It certainly seems like he is hitting on you from your description. Sexual harrasment is very serious in the workplace or anywhere for that matter. If you feel uncomfortable at your job then you need to say something to your boss. Just because he owns the company does not give him the right to treat you in that way. Ask to speak to him with another person present. Tell him that you felt uncomfortable the other day and hope that your being honest about it will stop any future issues. Let him know that you value your job and hope that this was a "misunderstanding" and it won't happen again. Hopefully he will feel like you are serious and will stop. If there is a human resources department, then filing a claim with them is also an option, but I feel from your email that there is not one. You can't be legally fired for filing a complaint. Your body is your business and anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable is serious. I would honestly start looking for another job, because truthfully, it sounds like he has done this before and won't stop at you. Also one other note, I would try to find the woman who quit last month that you mentioned..it might be worth it to find out why.
Rocky Road October 30, 2012 at 06:06 PM
Hi Hollie, Do you have any recipies for happy marriages? Mine is on the rocks. Are you married? If so, for how long? How do you get it to work? We are married 2 years now and we fight all the time. Thanks.
Hollie Gonzalez October 31, 2012 at 08:59 PM
Hi Rocky, Yes, I am married, almost 11 years now. Yes, we fight, but we make up too. We have happy times and sad times, good days and bad. All marriages should have all of those aspects. Maybe you can go see a marriage counselor for some expert help. My only advice is to talk out everything, not yell, be kind, and always hug and kiss goodnight.
J B November 01, 2012 at 05:37 PM
Hi Hollie, My neighbor was trashed walking around for Halloween with her kids. What a shame. She was drinking alcohol in an insulated cup while she was walking around. She stunk and thought it was funny. Her kids are 10 and 12..Do you think this was ok? Should I say something?
Italian Mama November 01, 2012 at 07:06 PM
Hi JB, Absolutely say something to her!! Thats dispicable and very embarassing for her kids. Epic Fail!
Comment November 01, 2012 at 07:19 PM
The first couple of years in any marriage can suck, especially if you didn't live together first. No one is perfect, and each person in a relationship has to figure out what imperfections can be accepted (like leaving the cap off the toothpaste) or like smacking someone around (never acceptable). Learning to compromise, learning how to wait until calmed down to rationally discuss what is upsetting one of you, learning to accept not always being right - that there are other right answers sometimes, agreeing to disagree, I could go on an on - are skills that if you can't learn on your own together, that marriage counseling might help with. The secret to my long marriage is 1) trust. without it, it will never work. 2) honesty - same as number one, without it, it will never work, 3) find common interests. You don't have to love football, but if he likes to watch football on Sunday, watch it with him, learn about the game, find a way to make it fun. If you like to go to the movies, he has to compromise and agree to go see chick flicks without complaining. Date nights are very very important. Not losing touch with your own friends is also important, however, if you spend more time with your friends than your spouse, that's a problem. Find couple friends that you can all go out together. I could go on and on, but I'll stop now... sorry for interfering with the blog! I just wanted to say something!
Kerry November 01, 2012 at 09:39 PM
Hi Hollie, I too enjoy reading your column. Just wanted to add something to your advice to 'not happy'. Are these the only (not that ANY times is OK) times you have felt he has behaved inappropriately? If so maybe mentioning a boyfriend, or telling him he reminds you of your great-uncle (or any OLDER man) may get him to back off? Either way - Document, Document, Document. EVERY incident, time, date, place & details of what happened. Keep it somewhere he will not find it (at home, in your car, etc) vs in the office. It very well may be a 'misunderstanding' but if it continues you need to be able to show specifics to back you up just in case. Like Hollie wrote - if possible, try to find out info on your predecessor. It may well be that he has a pattern of this and needs to be STOPPED!
Hollie Gonzalez November 02, 2012 at 12:23 AM
Hi JB, Absolutely say something to your neighbor. I would have said it the instant I realized she was drinking. I bet she has a serious problem. That is very sad. She was supposed to be watching those kids. Parents go trick or treating for safety on the kids behalf. I know I go to watch the kids, the parents giving out the candy, the cars coming up and down the street, and the overall safety of the night. I enjoy it too, and would never in a million years think about doing something like that. Halloween is mostly for the kids. It's one night a year, and regardless of the age of the child, 2,6,15... It's their night and the parents responsibility to make sure it goes off without a hitch. Drinking would severely impair any decisions in regards to their safety as well as her own. Shame on her, and I feel bad for those kids. I would tell her a million times over that she deffinately failed the parent test last night. Maybe she needs professional help.
Santa's helper November 02, 2012 at 03:01 PM
hi Hollie, Love the column. I look foward to reading it every day. Any ideas for Christmas decorating in my new family. I re-married into a Jewish family and they are not very celebratory like I am used to from my Catholic upbringing. I love the trees, lights, and christmas carols. They do not. thanks
Hollie Gonzalez November 02, 2012 at 08:44 PM
Hello and thank you for reading my column. I love Christmas too. I think decorating is probably one of the best parts of it. Some families are more into it than others. I feel that you should incorporate some of the Jewish traditions into your decorating style. Ask about your spouses family traditions. Maybe they just don't have very many traditions, & this could be a new start. You have a new family, whynot have new traditions that can be passed down from now on? Have the whole family be involved. Go shopping together and choose things that represent everyone. You can have a tree and a Minorah too, who says you can't? Holidays are what you make of them, so why not make the great?
Hollie Gonzalez November 02, 2012 at 08:46 PM
make THEM great, I meant..sorry, no spellcheck on the blog
Julie T November 03, 2012 at 03:36 PM
Hi Hollie, love the blog, any recipies on how to get my kids to eat veggies? I can't get them to eat anything healthy. They are 6 and 10. Thanks.
Hollie Gonzalez November 04, 2012 at 12:59 AM
Hi Julie, Veggies are not many kids favorite. I add them to foods they already like. For example, I add cooked carrots to my sauce, peas to mac and cheese, and substitue real hamburg for veggie burgers and they never even know it. Another thing that works for me is to have my son cook with me. Let the kids be involved in the recipies. When they see what "they" made, kids are more likely to eat it. Also, take them to the fruit and produce section of the supermarket and let them pick things they might like. Kids are more apt to eat fresh, shucked corn on the cob, over the canned variety.
Aggravated enough November 05, 2012 at 12:45 AM
Hollie, Can you help me? I have a friend who always talks about her weight. She is pretty, thin and very physically fit. She is a stay at home mom of a 9 year old. She doesn't go to work because her husband is rich. She doesn't have to work. She shops all day, goes tanning, to the beauty salon, gym, and every single parent teacher event in the town. She constantly talks about how good she looks, or what she spent her money on. It is driving me nuts. I am not jealous, I am bull. She knows that I work my butt off, am struggling to pay our bills, am having a hard time losing any of my pregnancy weight, and can hardly afford to put my kids in sports. I used to value our play dates, and love talking to her, but now she just rubs everything in my face, and every one else she talks to. I really want to tell her where to go. Any suggestions?
Hollie Gonzalez November 05, 2012 at 04:03 PM
Hello, I have been in a similar situation, and I don't talk to that person any longer. I know how you feel. I would not go the route I went though, because I really do miss the conversations. Tell her outright. Be honest and tell her what specifically is bothering you. Sometimes when people don't have to deal sensitive issues, like not being able to pay a bill, or make rent, they become desensitized to them. Let her know that you value her friendship and would really like to have her as an ally in your fight to lose your pregnancy weight. Maybe the two of you could go walking together, or share her secrets for a quick workout. Friendships that matter are so rare these days, don't let this one slip away. I think your friend just needs a reality check.
Richard E November 05, 2012 at 06:51 PM
Hi Hollie, love this column, Here is my issue. I live on a nice lot on a corner on Shawsheen St. Every weekend a bunch of people hang yard sale signs on the telephone pole next to my driveway. They are big cardboard, posterboard, and sometimes even metal! The people never come to take them down, and they always end up in my yard, driveway, or blowing down the street, eventually in the Shawsheen river. I think this is so rude. I pick up at least 10-15 of these a month. It is really ticking me off. Any suggestions?


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